Friday, July 19, 2013

Stepping Out from the "Story of My Life"

 For most of us, “The Story of My Life” is the object of our greatest fascination, our singular occupation, our greatest love.  Nearly every waking moment of every day is considered and even urgently interpreted from a personal perspective.  “Meaning” (relevance to the Story) is sought or projected onto events and objects with evermore experienced and clever insight as we age - until an advanced age may arrive that diminishes that ability.  Until that time comes, why should one be concerned with 'Stepping Out' from the "Story of My Life"?

Each thing within the Story is either attractive or repulsive, by degrees.  There are qualities of both feelings in each thing, and so the opposite labels can be paired into one concept of motion; dynamic force (vs. static, or without movement).  If the degree of attraction/repulsion for a Story element is strong, it is held close to the center of focus in the Story.  In the degree is weak, it may drift toward the periphery, or be edited out of the Story all together.

{If a tone is not in harmony with others, it doesn’t matter if it is sharp or flat, it only matters that it is not harmonic.  Degrees of dissonance are variations in movement from the fixed point of harmony.}

The same bonds of attraction and repulsion between the self and the Story elements also bind the self to Time and Place with the same insistent, firm hold.  Time and Place (Einstein’s term: space/time) is the cherished, but largely unexamined, matrix on which the Story unfolds.  It is the stage booked for the ongoing Story performance, and because the stage affects the performance, it (time/space) is also a Story element. (An interest point of debate is whether there can actually be a 'stage' apart from the 'Story', that it may be only a 'Story element' and couldn't exist otherwise.)

The way to step out or set aside “The Story of My Life” is a matter that is pointed to by the question of why is it a good thing to be able to do.  Why is it good to broaden the personal perspective and strive to gain empathy?  What relevance do broader vantage points have when one still has to live life in a personal way?  There's only one stage that matters, and it certainly seems that there is actually only one Story performance happening, and its title is "My Life".  A good playwright allows for intermissions for theatre goers to take a break and perhaps mingle in the lobby.  Doesn't that make the performance a richer audience experience?

Throughout our brief history, numerous key sources of wisdom have indicated that the fundamental purpose of life is to develop the ability to know love, in its myriad forms, and to hold onto and be held by some of those forms.  Eventually, if we aim for it, we may learn how to let go of it in its unified, formlessness.  

A developed loving (empathic) response is to look on life with eyes of compassion, for all of the manifestations of life, whether they are commonly labeled good or bad.  It is to listen for the harmonics which abound in the world.  It is to realize one has a harmonic point to occupy.

Our thoughts move around in our imaginative minds in packages we call concepts.  Concepts are Story elements.  We categorize and arrange them, and rearrange them all the time like tireless interior decorators, or shipping clerks, scurrying about in the cranial living/work space.  The mind is a bustling place made busy by dynamics of dissonance, unceasing movement. 

Contemplation of love, apart from its personal Story relevance, is one way to take a break from the exhausting task of managing the countless thought packages, of performing on stage, of creating and living in the Story.  It’s good to step out and take work breaks as often as the boss will let you.   Concepts demand our attention for maintenance.  Percepts - that which we can know apart from thinking - deserve our attention for the awe they inspire.

Unfiltered perception is another way to set aside the Story of My Life.  These are breaks, or treats we give ourselves and they can become habit-forming.  Earlier, it was implied that advanced age may diminish our ability to find meaning, or make sense of things, but it may rather be simply that we have “Story fatigue”.  We enjoy more and more the developing ability to perceive without the effort of conceiving personal meaning.  Do we lose our abilities for reaction and motion, or do we gain true stillness in the mind and body?  

Sometimes we sense in very old people that there's "nobody home", as if they were on extended holiday, and there may not be a forwarding address.  In our later years, we see the work is done - futile as it was - and we’re ready to give it a rest, and only in that state of stillness may we enjoy the fruit of our labor.

By perceiving the world, as it is, with compassion and in stillness, we can enjoy it along the way and don’t have to wait until we are eventually worn out from our lifelong careers of conceptual work.  

The stage curtain will finally descend and the Story will be over for each of us, but until then, the ongoing performance of the Story of My Life will play out much better with intermissions.







Thursday, July 11, 2013

A(nother) Star is Born!

Of course you are the Star...
                in the Story of Your Life!
And, you are also president of your fan club.
But, you are also the scathing critic who reviews your every move.
And, you are also the zealous editor who continually rewrites your Story, 
ever polishing each draft, for posterity.

Of course Your Story is a real page-turner, a sensation: bound to win the Award for Best Story of the Year, no, Decade, no, Century!!!  No, it will sweep all the Awards: Best Actor, Best Make-up, Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Screenplay adapted from a novel...

Everyone will surely be talking about it for years to come.  No, generations will pass it along, one to the next, with great reverence....  No?  Wait, what?

If the Story of Your Life! is a book, can you set it down now and then?
If it’s a movie, can there be an intermission where you step out into the lobby?
In your Story narration, can there be a break for a few words from our Sponsor?

There would be no words from our Sponsor, per se.  No message that you could work into your Story like a product placement. No compensation for your celebrity endorsement.

A break from your Story would be silence, filled with appreciation for the astounding beauty of the place in which you happen to find your self, housed in a breathing body that cannot be accounted for.  This place comes standard with air, water and sun light! Plus your personal unit has all the upgrades, including five senses and the ability to know love.

It may happen that a great number of days go by without a break in your Story.
Perhaps the first twenty years or more were non-stop Story-telling and role-acting.  This would be  only natural in this age for our species.  

It has happened - much more frequently than not, perhaps - that entire Stories have been played out in their various Epic forms, without a single break.  Each story eventually taking up the full allotment of space on the dash between dates on a tombstone.

It may happen that you selflessly give to another, taking care that the other’s story is crafted in the most comfortable or desirable way possible.  In your title role as the Selfless Caregiver, you create secret lamentations about the Cruelty of Fate, about Unrecognized Genius, and about the Yearning for that Day in the Future when the well-earned Martyr’s Glory will surely come!  Scores will be settled, Just Rewards meted out!  This compelling theme is the basis for a Story that is perhaps the hardest book to set down.  At one point or another, this is everyone’s favorite genre: Oh, the Suffering! Yum!


You, me, and every other living human has this moment.  An instant called “now” to be aware of things not bound within the covers of our Story, and to give thanks for being here and being able to create a story - a story that, as important as it seems to be, is just another story in a boundless universe.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

A Look at Suffering

There's a very good, old saying that goes: 'Too soon old, too late smart.'  It applies to countless areas of life learning where we might say, "I wish I knew that a long time ago!"   But then there's another good old saying that says: "If wishes were fishes, our nets would be full."

We want to at least avoid the suffering that produced the new wisdom, but it would be much better still to be wise when you're young enough to enjoy using the knowledge.  We each have our pet areas where this is especially true, and the wistful yearning is yet another kind of suffering.

Old timers offer advice from a wiser perspective, but we almost always ignore it and assume our uniqueness will confer immunity from inevitable consequences - which are, again, a necessary measure of suffering.

Why does learning have to happen with suffering?

The question implies that suffering is bad, but is it?

Suffering is a constant reminder that we are still alive.  In this regard, suffering is a most welcome bit of feedback from the world.  When the suffering stops, our ticket gets punched and we're all done here.

Suffering helps pare away concerns that were previously thought to be urgent needs.  Only after we let go of these concerns along the way can we realize these were hindrances to growth.  Nearly all of these 'urgent needs' were/are actually nothing more than forms of desire or fear.

Perhaps a concrete example of this would help:  Let's say a young child wants candy.  Not wishing to allow a bad habit to form, the parent denies it.  The child feels some desire and, although it may be expressed as frustration, the child now also feels fear that autonomy will never come, so the desire gains urgency and a tantrum follows.  The adult soon consents for any number of reasons, the candy is allowed, and the child is temporarily satisfied.  Let's say this repeats and soon, in fact, a bad habit does develop (a 'sweet tooth').   One day, given the insatiable nature of such things, the child will grow to become a patient of a doctor offering treatment for diabetes, or will be seated in the dentist's chair lamenting an immoderate approach to sweets.  Perhaps the patient is now a parent with a child at home and so a vow is made to stand firm for inculcating better habits.  The vow will be good, until the first tantrum is thrown.

This seems to be a circular pattern, rather than one of growth.  It is not only normal for a child to seek autonomy, but it is developmentally necessary.  Of course, with that comes responsibility for consequences.  It is also a matter of course, that one cannot gain knowledge and grow without suffering.  So, in order for growth to occur and the cycle to be broken, the suffering needs to happen by denying the initial desire and forestalling the sought-after autonomy.  Otherwise, the circular pattern will continue at the expense of growth.

The trick in imparting wisdom is to be able to point out the relative unimportance of desire, especially before fear is allowed to strengthen it.  Often, a good parent will assure a child that, one day, he or she will have the authority in choosing which desires to satisfy.  The assured child will then eagerly grow toward this goal, rather than fear it will never happen.  A wise adult is one who is wise enough to enlighten a child on the nature of desire, before the desire has a strong hold in the moment.  Adults understand that desire is a form of thought that is distinct from our actual, physical needs, which are surprisingly few.  But, understanding is one thing, acting on it is another, teaching it is yet another.

Of course, all of this is laid out in pristine, academic context.  Actual experience rarely follows the ideal model and so gaining wisdom will mostly remain a sloppy business with plenty of suffering.  But, in such times it's always good to be reminded that suffering is only for the living.

Of course, the weather could always be nicer, but you could also be dead.  Life would be more enjoyable if one didn't have illness or didn't lose the car keys, but one could always lose one's life pretty much at any time in any number of circumstances.  The obituaries are universally populated by former sufferers, who, if by some miraculous means could be given a choice to resume suffering, would almost all probably take the chance.

These are odd ways of pointing out that we fool ourselves by comparing the wrong things to one other.  If we think the tea isn't warm enough, it is because we compare it to warmer tea.  Instead, the proper comparison would be to not having any tea, or not having the means to heat it at all, or to not even being physically able to drink tea.

Some have claimed that one should rejoice in one's suffering.  They assert suffering is the means of salvation, like that of Christ.  I didn't hear so much about that rejoicing part in the story of Jesus nailed up on the cross.   Still, his example of suffering seems to stand highest of all, and the key piece of wisdom he was able to impart at that moment was acceptance.  Acceptance is an utter lack of fear or desire for anything other than what is.  Surrender to suffering is the surest end to suffering - while one is still alive - and none of us is going to be here all that much longer, regardless.

It sounds too trite to say one should 'surrender to suffering.'  It might be more helpful to point out that all of our suffering arises from the stories we tell ourselves about life, about how unfair it is.  The 'as ifs' or the 'if onlys' that comprise most of our narratives are the singular source of suffering.  Physical pain is not suffering, it is physical pain - and, yes, it does suck.  But, in all cases, it should be compared with the inability to experience pain, which is death.  (When properly compared, physical pain can be accepted as temporary.  If you are over age twenty you're probably already doing it on a daily basis, certainly so if you're fifty or more.)

Is death that bad?  'Hard to say for sure.  The only clear thing we know is that it isn't life.  And, since death is inevitable, any opinion or statement about it is merely part of another story; a story of suffering.  Stories about death are among the best examples of suffering, for the subject, but more for the listener.

Detaching one's self from the imperative of the narrative, which is to loosen one's attachment to form, is to approach the end of suffering while still being alive.  It is good and right to love impermanent things, as long as one realizes what that means, even while one is enjoying the experience.  The enjoyment is also impermanent, as is the self that is capable of enjoyment.  Although life and suffering seem nearly synonymous, it is only so for the forms of life.  If one's focus is also on the animating energy of life, behind the forms, then suffering has little to hold on to.







Sunday, February 17, 2013

To Be Human


To be human is to be a visitor:

    We inhabit eternity, but we visit a place in time.
       We are formless visitors to a realm of form and space.
          We dwell in unity with all, while we visit a world of opposites.

To be human is to be one who dabbles:

    We are creatures of love, dabbling with fear.
        We give as freely as we receive, still we dabble with greed.
             We are beings of light, dabbling in darkness.
    We are one being, belonging with all that exists,
          dabbling with isolation and loneliness.

To be human is to be blessed:

     We are blessed with an inheritance 
          fashioned by the striving
               of millions of life forms
                    over millions of years,
     on this blessed planet, among billions of planets,
          located in a galaxy of billions of stars,
               among billions of galaxies.

To be human is to wonder.  .  . why?

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Trees


We get lost, in the study of trees 

      or deeply admire them

              for their form and substance.

But, to a bird flying through a grove,

       the solid branches define and frame

               the beloved open spaces 

they traverse and inhabit.


How joyful to see 

        that a tree is a gesture of play,

               made by a field of energy 

extending into form and substance,

        and that the tree’s branches,

                 and that the spaces defined by them,

are all one thing; 

         like a tree-idea-bubble with a membrane 

                 which allows birds to pass through, 

                         along with our awed awareness

of its existence.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Images From....Where?





The universe resonates in a bandwidth frequency that corresponds to a point just on the benevolent side of truly benign:   

Like the undulating respiration of a pelagic jellyfish adrift just below the surface, commingled on the retina with myriad shards of shimmering sunlight from water ripples, the modal rhythm of all that exists is a kind of breathing into and out of a dazzling, variable depth of field.  Held and fixed in fascination by vague recognition of a timeless pattern,  a welcoming sense of familiarity abides.  

Looking into the water, or into a fire, or into a flower bloom, fleetingly-distinguishable impulses of this vibrant, dynamic ebb and flow merge together as bursting fireworks weave into and out of one another, blossoming and receding as they descend.

Sparks erupt from a source fire, ascend and fade into the dark. Obeying draft currents, they filter down from the sky as ash introduced to the soil.  The soil beckons a fallen seed to burst with a re-formed spark of life into the soil community.  It becomes and thrives into maturity by converting, storing and releasing vast amounts of the sun’s radiant energy.  The sun, "our" primal ball of source fire sets in motion all of the biosphere’s chemical choreography.

The soil is an organized energy system, like the complex of cell colonies in a jellyfish or any other energy form imbued with the spark of sentient life.  Each cell is coded for operation with relational intelligence corresponding to the intelligence in all other cells.  On the molecular scale, they are locked in a binary dance of positive and negative electro-chemical charges.  It is a composition of movement just on the artistic side of mathematical.  

Linked structures of molecular charges are altered by electro-magnetic waves of various frequencies.  Molecular charges are also altered by a host of introduced chemicals that catalyze reactive forces.  Reversed polarity on any scale ripples in all dimensions, toggling particle-charges, rapid-fire along the way.

Every imaginable thing, and every imaginable non-thing, is necessarily present in an infinite universe - a limitless set.   This must include the birth and simultaneous death of an infinite number of universes.  Of course, the mind cannot go very far in this direction and retrieve anything meaningful to relate.

Are all these exuberant imaginings autonomously conjured?  Or, might they be perceptions revealed by a universe that resonates in a bandwidth frequency that corresponds to a point just on the benevolent side of truly benign. 

With all mustered sapience, triangulate your position and bearing from the dual beacons of fact and fiction, of sense and beyond sense, of matter and energy, and enjoy the voyage.